Dearest Eliza,
Of the many things in this world that I love, sleep and schedules rank very high. And in your short nine months of life, I have bragged endlessly about how great of a sleeper and how well-scheduled you are. You’ve made your mama very proud.
Well, within a matter of days, my darling, you started crawling, you turned the big 0-9 (months) and your devotion to your schedule and naps went out the window. You quickly became the independent and strong-willed girl I always knew you were going to be.
Needless to say, we had a tough week.
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| This about sums it up. |
One day, a short week ago, you were my little baby girl, scooting around on your bum or twirling around on your back in order to get from one place to the next. You were my steadfast baby girl who woke at 730a, napped from 930a-11a, then again from 1p-230p and went to bed for the night at 7p. Religiously. You were a dependable little 8-month-old.
Then, you turned 9-months-old. And instead of wiggling your way through the living room to get what you wanted, you learned how to crawl. And with that, you went from being my baby girl to my little girl. Also with that, came attitude. An attitude that, rather than abide by the schedule that we carefully built around your sleeping and eating patterns, we would eliminate any daytime routine so that you could practice your new skill. And while I am deeply proud and incredibly excited for you to begin crawling your way through life (until you can walk, that is), you made it incredibly difficult on the two of us last week.
We fought. A lot. I think I got a glimpse into our future 12 years down the line...and unless the two of us have a major attitude adjustment by then, it’s not going to be all roses and rainbows like it has been.
We both failed to act our own ages - acting like toddlers with the fits we threw. I got acutely frustrated with you. You laughed at me. You had me in tears. You laughed at me. I firmly placed you back onto your back in your crib again and again, only for you to a) stand right back up and b) laugh at me. I yelled at you. You laughed at me. I stormed in and out. You laughed at me. I, with desperation in my voice, pleaded with you to Please just go to sleep! You’re exhausted! And you laughed at me.
Thank you for putting things in perspective, little girl.
What’s the big deal if we fall off schedule for a few days? I don’t know why I was so worried about losing control over our daily routine. Perhaps I was being selfish and wanted those couple of hours of alone time that I so dearly cherish every day. Maybe I was worried it would spill over into bed time (it didn’t). I could have been threatened with the task of figuring out a whole new routine. Who knows.
But I am sorry. I am so sorry that I got so frustrated and acted like a lunatic. You’re a child and you certainly don’t know any better. In your mind, you wanted to polish your new skill and show it off to the world, no matter how exhausted and cranky you got as you tirelessly practiced. And I am sorry that I didn’t see it that way at the time. I am so proud of your strong-willed personality and your persistence to achieve and perfect new things.
Luckily, after a few chats with our beloved Vicky, we came up with a new schedule. This one allowed you lots of time to practice your new tricks, yet still gave me the personal time that I crave every day. Our first trial was last Friday.
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| A good book, a cuppa, a cool Newport breeze...a much deserved three-hour retreat to my front porch. |
And today, my love, you were as sleepy as could be come your normal 9:30a nap time. And sound asleep, you are right now. Perhaps you missed your routine after all.
You certainly know how to throw me for a loop, Eliza Lane. I love you, sweet girl.
Love,
Your Equally as Fickle and Strong-Willed Mama
2 comments:
It's funny as Moms how much we learn after the fact - how we learn to adapt -- change our own perceptions -- admit we don't know all we think we know -- we regroup constantly and find common ground that, by in large, works most of the time -- as our children grow and get older we become much wiser and pick our battles more carefully -- we become our child/children's loudest cheerleaders and strongest advocates -we learn to be the buffer between our children and our husbands/children -- there is no Bible for being a mother (or father), no instruction manual, no all inclusive how to book -- but your ability to adapt and realize when you crossed the rational, sane line is what keeps us in check as parents -- and most importantly your ability to apologize when you go the scarey parents place is probably the most important thing you have just learned -- remember we are not perfect human beings -- but our ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness is the best gift we can give our children -- the most important advice I have ever given other parents is to "always accept where your child/children are at any given time and not where you think they should be" --saves a tremendous amount of heartache for all -- Keep doing what you're doing -- you're a great Mom -- I've love the pictures, the observations, and blogs -- It is quite obvious just how much you love and adore that sweet baby girl -- Like Mother, Like Daughter is a good thing --been a Mom for almost 24 years -- you go girl!!! Carol
Love it, J! That's one to save for her (and her face is priceless!). Hang in there, and yes, despite our need to control it all, try to go with the flow when you can. You're doing great job! Miss you guys so much!!!!
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