Hello, Goodbye

It can sometimes be a lonely job being a navy wife.  Moving from place to place, and staying somewhere just long enough to establish good friends before packing up and heading off to the next place where you have to start from scratch and do it all over again.  It’s not that there isn’t loads of support for navy wives, as there are wives’ groups for every command, but that’s certainly no guarantee for automatic friends.  It takes time to establish great relationships.  And while the ladies you can meet via the wives’ groups can turn into lifelong girlfriends, it’s really tough being away from the ones you already hold so dear.  

I have very few close girlfriends.  Maybe because, in my adult life, I have never been somewhere long enough to establish more than a couple.  But, I sometimes wish I was one of those women who had a handful of best friends; that I was part of a strong, fun and supportive group of women; that I had a Gayle.  But, I suppose life isn’t an episode of Sex and the City and I am, indeed, not Oprah Winfrey (although, wouldn’t that be nice!).  

The few close girlfriends that I do have are sprinkled along the east cost and throughout the UK.  And I long for the days where I could meet for coffee on a whim, have once-weekly girls’ nights or stroll through the neighborhood with a friend by my side.  Inevitably, saying goodbye to the friends I become so used to seeing regularly and hearing from on a daily basis is always the toughest part of relocating.

And it’s especially hard leaving good ‘couple’ friends - you know, where the four of you share such a great dynamic that you can carry on until 3am - even though there are babies to get up with in the morning - because you’re having a really great time (and lets face it, also because the martinis and champagne are really great).  Scott and I really enjoy people - and when we find those certain ones that we just click with, they’re lifelong treasures.  

But being so far away from all of my friends, having to start all over with none of them by my side, is so lonely at times.  It absolutely makes my day when I see a message in my inbox from one of my close girlfriends.  It may be the written word versus the spoken, but it’s the knowledge that she was thinking of me.  It makes me feel so much less alone in a place where I really am on my own.  

The up side to all of this, however, is that we have friends scattered all over the world.  That when we do get to see our good friends, it’s as though no time has passed at all.  That we have friends from all different backgrounds, cultures and experiences.  That we will always have someplace interesting to visit.

While I am still finding my stride here in Newport, I will soon be leaving.  Naturally, this means that I am on my way to making really great friends, only to say goodbye in December as I head to Chesapeake.  And even though Chesapeake is where I call home, I will be starting all over again there, too. 

As hard as it is to pick up and move every couple of years (or months, as has been our case), the friends that we have established have been worth the heartache.  It took me a long time to make my friends in London but the friends I made there, I know, are lifelong.  And the same will ring true for Newport, Chesapeake and wherever else the navy may take us.  It’s a hard and lonely life sometimes, but what makes it worth it are the friends you make, and keep, along the way.  (And the great places they send you doesn't hurt either!)